In Columbus Ohio, My
mom and dad were never married, they were too young to do that. My dad is the only person my mom slept with; she was a virgin up until she met my dad. They met in high school. My mom was
sixteen, and my dad was one young older. My dad worked part- time as a paper boy before
going to school every day, and mom worked at a pizza hut, making pizzas. My grandma
did not know my mom was pregnant, until a family member told her, after she found out she was upset,
confronted my mother asking mom to see her belly. My mom tried to stop her, so my grandma pushed her
on to the bed, and lifted her shirt. She saw that
mom was 6 months pregnant. My grandma did not want my mom knocked up , but there was no way in hell she was going to let mom give
me away or have a abortion either. So my grandma dealt with it.
The
night my mom’s water broke, her and her best friend Judy was walking home from
my dad’s house. My mom felt something wet going down her leg, and asked Judy to feel her leg to see if her water
broke. It sure the hell did!! When they got home and told my grandma, my
grandma told mom to go lay down and rest, mom went to lie down, and
Judy and her just talked. A few hours later, my mom said I want to go to the
hospital. So off they went. Once they
got there and mom got in a room, my mom made my grandma rub her back and belly over and over, because
she was in so much pain. After so long my grandma
got tired, and said Becky; I am going to get a cup
of coffee now. It was while my grandma was getting
her coffee, that I was ready to come into the world. My aunt helped my mom push me out, and cut my cord. i think i came out ass first. LOL! My grandma
missed the whole thing over that damn cup of coffee.
I was born on July 7th 1988 at 7:10am. I was born prematurely and so tiny that people
held me with only one hand. I could not hold down formula, baby food, or Brest milk. The doctors gave me 30 days to gain weight, or I was going to die. So
after staying in the hospital for a few weeks, my family took me home and fed
me mashed up human food in a blender.
{My grandma cooked the meals.} I
held it down pretty good. So I stated eating the food every day, and
put on so much weight that family members called me butter ball, and told me I
could be a football player if I kept the weight on. I was not that much of a fan of
football, but my family made me do all of the hand signals.
A week after
I put the weight on, I went to a doctor’s
check up. The entire hospital staff almost shit their pants when they saw that the
tiny sick boy, was now a chubby healthy kid. Everyone clapped and cheered, as I walked down
the hall into the doctor’s office. The one thing I wish I could remember
now, is what my doctor’s name was. Ah fuck it!
My grandma and my mother are life-savers! Neither
one of them ever gave up on me, and for that I will be forever grateful. Go ahead grab a tissue!
I never had a lot of Neighborhood friends growing up, but I
had a few. I do not
remember all their names, but I remember lots of faces. Some phoney, and some real. I even
remember my first kiss, it was with this girl named Maria. She
was pretty with blond hair, and very thin.
She lived next door to my grandma; and we hung out every day. I do not remember the kiss that much. After my grandma
moved from her home, we lost touch. We have not seen each other in over 10
years, but I do not think she remembers me anyway.
My only
best friends were my older cousin Brittney, and God. Brittney
and I grew up like brother and sister. We are one year apart, her being the
oldest. We would play hide and seek in
the park and other stuff we enjoyed doing. Brittany always had more friends than me, but I think her friends liked me too. That or they were just good actors! Who knows or cares anymore?
Britney always bossed me around, and I hated it.
She would pitch me and tell me to do things that were just dumb shit. But later after we became pre teens, we both
bullied our younger cousins, so I guess it runs in our family. LOL! They say people bully people to toughed them
up and maybe that is why Britney bullied me, and we bulled our cousins. To make
sure we were all tough basterds! Who is to say
really? No, just kidding. I cannot speak for Brittany, But I know for me I was miserable, and unhappy with my life at that
time, so that is why i was bossy. After years of having a bond with Brittany, we
drifted apart, when she started dating her boyfriend , who I always
thought looked, and acted like a thug. I was right of course.
They are no longer
together, but have 3 kids who I love very much, who I hope grow up to be smart just like me. Britney and I still do not have a bond, for
reasons I am not ready to discuss in public, but we get along most of the time. I hope one day she and I will become close
again, but I do not think it will be anytime soon.
I have always talked to god.
I am not sure when it started, I just know god has always talked to me in my
mind. Family members never understood
this, and thought I was crazy when they saw me talking to myself alone in a
room or wherever I was. They would ask
who in the hell are u talking to? You look nuts, doing that. My answers always were just talking to
myself, because I knew they would not understand my connection with god. God has helped me with a lot, and god and I
are still close. Now the thing that most people do not understand is that to me
god is a women. Why do I think god is a
women? Well because when I talk to god, my inner female gets stronger, and I
see things from a female point of view. Everyone
has a right to have an opinion, and this is mine.
Although I was baptized catholic by my family
as a baby, as a kid I always felt like I did not fit in, a black sheep!! And I did not think what they taught was
right, and I was never going to call myself that word. There is a lot of shit I do not agree with
them on, but there is a few things as well. Same with the Jewish faith. I know I have always been Jewish I do not
know how really, I just know. I think
god knew I was Jewish, how else do you explain my big nose? LOL! No, just kidding. And I never liked how the Catholic Church
would say gay people were living in sin and would burn in hell if they ever had sex together, like they did
when I grew up. I would think blah,
blah, blah, shut the fuck up! A lot of them
still do it today, but now I think it is because the catholic priest are having
sex with altar boys, and then hiding.
I had lesbians in my family before I came out
myself, and those comments by the church pissed me off, so bad that it made me
not want to be around them or their kind of people. I never felt safe around priests, I was
always afraid they would rape me or do bad things to me because of how they
acted, and now those kinds of stories about priests who rape and do bad things
with their wieners are everywhere, so I guess I always knew. But they never touched me
, so I guess I was just paranoid. I am by no means saying all Catholic priests
are bad people or that the Catholic Church itself is bad for that matter. No! What I am saying is I grew up thinking that the priests
I was around, was going to make me have butt sex with them, and that scared me like hell. Butt I was wrong, and I admit that now.
I am also part Irish, hillbilly, and Italian. My grandma on my
mom’s side makes some yummy Italian food. When i used to eat beef, her meatballs were killer. You know I don’t remember going to church
every week like a lot kids do, I just remember having fun talking with God and hanging out with cousin
Brittany.
I ran away from home twice. The first time I was at my grandparent’s
and father’s house. My father and I were in his room watching TV, and everyone
else was sleeping. My dad was asleep but I was still awake like I always was,
and bored like hell. I wanted my mom to come take me home, who
was working and was going to come get me after she got off her 3rd
shift job. So I walked from the bedroom
into the living room unlocked the front door and walked out of the house, and down
the block. Once I got down by the street
curb, cars were driving by. I did not know what to do next. Then a nurse stopped
her car on the side of the road, got out and ran towards me. After she asked me where
I lived and where I was going, the nurse called the police to tell them that
she found some kid walking the streets in the middle of the night trying to get
to his mother. The cops came, and drove
me to my mom’s work. After my mom saw me and the cop standing there,she was scared to death I was out on the street by
myself. My mom was mad at my dad and my dad was mad at me, but i did not care one bit. Yes, I always enjoyed causing
trouble as a child, and i still do. The second time I ran away from home I was older then I was
the first time. I was with My Family at
my uncle, s house, they were playing poker and I was outside playing by myself
because my cousins were not there to play with me. So i was there alone, talking to god. Well I got board and had some
change in my pocket, so I decided I was going to walk to the store which was 4
blocks away from the house. So I walk out of the backyard
into the back alley, then I get into to the main streets and walk down the sidewalk
by the busy road where there were restaurants and corner stores around. Nobody stopped and asked me what I was doing
or where I was headed? They just went on
their way like a little kid was not walking down the street without
supervision. I see a blockbuster video store close by and i walk inside. I get my
candy and movie, and head to the cashiers desk to pay for my things. I walk
up to the counter, and they ring up my candy and movie up, then ask for my money
to pay for it all. I give them the change I had in my pocket. Now I did not have enough for the movie or
candy so they asked me where my parents were, and told me to put back my
things. Well after I told them everything, they called the police to get me out of the store.
The police came,and the employees gave me back the change. The cops drove me back to my
uncle’s house unhandcuffed,and when we got there everyone was looking for me on the front porch. Now what i did not know at the time, was that the police knew I ran away from home before
they were called by the store, because my family called them after they found
out I was no longer in the backyard. When the police drove me back, my grandma
was on her knees in the driveway, crying and praying. Everyone in my family gave me the riot act, and
the police said I was lucky no one kidnapped me. Needless to say that was the last time I ever
ran away from home.
But one time I was
left at a park,where I was at with my family. we were at a party of some sort and
they got caught up packing up to leave, and left me. So independently I found
some church folk and got baptized Christian. . LOL! Funny shit, right? But I will always be Jewish, no matter what. I never got to celebrate Hanukkah or Passover growing up because of
the lies I was fed about Jewish people by my own family. My familytold me that jews did not talk to god like the catholics did, but i knew better.
I was always Looney, and crazy as a child. When I was about 5 years old I got stuck in a
toilet, and someone had to cut the pot in half so I could get off of it. Another time, I
drank rubbing alcohol that I found in my grandparents medicine cabinet
once, and after someone called 911, I had to get
my stomach pumped.I hated that! Brittany and I used to fight all the time when we were
growing up, But that is normal in a
dysfunctional family like mine.
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