Chapter One Updated on 1-30-13
Growing Up The only Jewish Person in an All Catholic Family!!
My mother and father met and fell in love, my mom was sixteen, and my dad was seventeen. My dad worked part- time as a paper boy before going to school every day, and mom worked at a pizza house, making pizzas. They were first loves. When my mom was pregnant, my grandma did not know, until a family member told her. [I come from a long line of big mouths.] After she found out she was upset, and she confronted my mother asking mom to see her belly. My mom tried to stop her until my grandma pushed on to her bed, and lifted her shirt. Mom was in her 6th month too. My grandma did not want my mom knocked up at the age of sixteen, but there was no way in hell she was going to let mom give me away or have a abortion either. So after a while my grandma dealt with it ok.
The night my mom’s water broke she and her best friend Judy was walking home. When they got there, they told my grandma and she said you need to get some rest now, you have a long way to go before you’re ready to give birth. My mom did, but never slept, she and Judy just talked. A few hours later my mother told my grandmother, I want to go to the hospital. Once they got there and got settled in to their hospital room, my mom made my grandma rub her back and belly over and over, because she was in so much pain. After doing this for a long time, my grandma got tired of rubbing my mother’s back, and said Becky; I am going to get a cup of coffee now. It was while my grandma got her coffee in the hospital cafeteria, that I was ready to come into the world, and make myself noticed. Since my grandma was not around, my aunt was the one who helped my mom push me out. My grandma missed the whole thing over that damn cup of coffee.
So I was born in Columbus Oho on July 7th 1988, at 7:10am. I was born prematurely and was so tiny that people only held me with only one hand. I could not hold down formula, baby food, and my mother was unable to breast feed. The doctors told my family they were going to gave me 30 days to either gain weight, or die. After staying in the hospital for a few weeks and still not gaining weight, my grandma took me home and fed me human food mashed up in a blender. I held it down pretty good, so I stated eating the food every day, and put on so much weight that family members called me butter ball. They also told me I could be a football player if I kept the weight on, and made me do all of the hand signals that the referees do at the games.
A week after I put the weight on I went to a doctor’s check up, the entire hospital staff almost shit their pants when they saw that the tiny sick boy, was now a chubby healthy kid. I remember everyone clapped, as I walked down the hall, and into the doctor’s office. It was so cool!! The one thing I wish I could remember is what my doctor’s name was, but fuck it! If it was not for my grandma’s cooking, I would not be here today telling this heartfelt, story to all of u wonderful readers.
My only best friends were my older cousin Brittney, and God. Brittney and I grew up like brother and sister, and we are one year apart, she being the oldest. We would play hide and seek in the park and other stuff we enjoyed doing. Brittany always had more friends than me, but I think her friends liked me too. That or they were just good actors! Who knows or cares anymore? They liked her the most.
Britney always bossed me around, and I hated it. But later after we became pre teens, we both bullied our younger cousins, so I guess it runs in our family. LOL! After years of having a bond with Brittany, we drifted apart, when she started dating her boyfriend at the time. I always thought her boyfriend looked, and acted like a thug, of course I was right on paper. I won’t publish his name! They are no longer together, but have 3 kids who I love very much! I hope they grow up and get a job where they can express themselves just like me. Britney and I still do not have a bond, for reasons I am not ready to discuss in public yet, but we do get along. I hope one day she and I will become close again, but I do not think it will be soon.
I have always talked to god. I am not sure when it started; I just know that god has always talked to me in my mind, and has answered whatever question I have. Family members never understood this, and thought I was crazy when they saw me talking to myself alone in a room, or wherever I was. They would ask me who in the hell are u talking to? You look nuts, doing that. My answers always were I was just talking to myself, because I knew they would not understand my connection with god, and they don’t. God has helped me with a lot, and we are still close. Now the thing that most people do not understand that god is a women. Why do I think god is a woman? Well because when I talk to god, my inner female gets stronger, and I see things from female's point of view. Everyone has a right to have an opinion, but this is mine.
Although I was baptized catholic by my family as a baby, as a kid I always felt like a black sheep!! , And I did not think what they taught was right, and I was never going to call myself that word. There is a lot of shit I do not agree with them on, that is the same with the Jewish faith too. I have known I have always been Jewish, I just do not know how I knew. I do however think god knew I was Jewish, how else do you explain my big nose? LOL! I am just kidding prudes! I never liked how the Catholic Church would say gay people were living in sin and will burn in hell, like they did when I grew up. I would think shut the fuck up! A lot of them still l say it today, but now I think it is because the catholic priest are having sex with altar boys, and hiding behind god.
I have lesbians in my family, and those comments by the church pissed me off, so bad that it made me not want to be around them. I am by no means saying all Catholic priests are bad people or that the Catholic Church is bad either. What I am saying is I grew up thinking that the priests I was around, was going to make me have butt sex with them. I was wrong, I admit that now. I am also Irish and Italian, and my grandma on my mom’s side makes some yummy Italian food. I just remember having fun talking with God and hanging with Brittany.
I am and have always been Looney, and crazy. When I was about 5 years old I got stuck in a toilet, and someone had to cut the pot in half so I could get off of it. What kind of crazy shit is that? I also drank rubbing alcohol that I found in my grandparents medicine cabinet once, I had to get my stomach pumped. Also Brittany and I used to fight all the time when we were growing up, but that is normal in a dysfunctional family like mine. Now maybe you see why I say my family is funny, and needs to be on TV. I will talk more about them on another day, but now let’s move on.